Tokyo Mew Mew is pretty painful

Today I want to have a rant about Tokyo Mew Mew.

It's fluff in the way that you can watch it and it's probably fine if you don't think about it.
This is what folks said about things like Twilight and Suicide Squad and they were both freaking terrible!

Well this is the anime example of that. Y'all remember Sailor Moon? (the sub, not the dub)
This show manages to steal several tropes from that show (and the magical girl genre as a whole) and condenses it into one season while dumbing it down sufficiently so if you struggle to remember who's who in any other magical girl series - this one'll suit you fine.

The premise is about a bunch of girls who are chosen at random by two older guys.. (no, it's not hentai - but only just.) to be the recipients of a scientific laser that mutates them with the genes of almost extinct animals. But only the attractive parts! You know, like cute cat ears and tails, not claws or noses or anything useful like that.

Fortunately each girl has their own colour scheme, so they don't have to have a gladiator style elimination process. They also get a schnazzy new costume, a gadget and a transformation device that they have to kiss and yell a made up phrase at for it to work.
Because SCIENCE.

Ignoring child labour laws, the older guys make the young girls work like colour co-ordinated slaves in a fetish cafe because it's their base of operations... which makes like no sense because they're always too busy to talk shop (it's pretty much just a guise to put them in another 'cute' outfit) and the Cafe wouldn't be open during the week because all the staff are at school.
Besides... the name of the cafe is Cafe Mew Mew. This wouldn't arouse suspicions when the girls are later outed as the Mew Mews?

Does it make it less suspicious that they're all Mew Mew Ichigo etc when there can't be that many people in Tokyo with fruit/food based names? Surely?

WHO ARE THEY??

Ichigo Momomiya 

She's a full time poser and borderline jail bait but in her free time she pretends to like the environment so she can win over her crush. She gets to do all sorts of cat things that the rest of the team don't share with their respective animals - she joins the gymnastics team because she's suddenly super flexible, she naps in the day time she can fall from great heights and not die (like any Anime character?) and starts saying 'nya~' on the end of her sentences and oh yeah, her ears and tail pop out when she's embarrassed or excited. Or she turns into a complete cat and has to kiss someone to transform back. Did I say this wasn't a hentai? 'Cause it's contrived enough to be. 

For some reason, the team think she's their leader - probably because her garter is on the opposite leg to the rest of the chumps. 

She gets hit on by an alien dude even though she's underage, she also crushes on one of the older guys but she's super serious about her crush and devotes all of her life to him. Hell, she even hesitates to attack the bad guys at the end because even if the entire freakin' world is destroyed she can't bear to live without Aoyama. In the comic she even 'elopes' with this guy even though they're like.. 13.

So yeah, there's that. 

Mint Aizawa 

Mint is a lot more likeable than Ichigo for the pure reason she's a bit of a bitch and points out Ichigo's failings a lot. She's rich and turns into a bird thing. I personally don't think her tiny wings are capable of holding her aloft but it doesn't actually matter because they can actually all hover, so screw the point of making her a bird in the first place. 

Lettuce Midorikawa

Here's a shy, glasses wearing wallflower that strangely doesn't need glasses after she transforms. 

She had a cool dramatic entrance but then went back to being kinda useless. Also can't swim because irony-drama. It's okay though because she can turn into a mermaid in the water. A pretty mermaid, not a porpoise or anything gross and animally. Largely ignored by the team even though she's a lot smarter than all of them combined. I don't know why she has antennae. 

Bu-Ling Huang

Easily my favourite character if I had to have one. She's cute and mischievous and upbeat - even if she has a dark backstory that appears for one episode and then is swept under the rug in order to focus more on the main romance between pink cat and blue dork. 

She acts like a monkey... but she did this before the transformation and I'm guessing she's a horrific Chinese stereotype because her character literally does not make any sense and appears to be a bunch of tropes thrown together. Multiple braids, multiple siblings, effortless acrobatics, Chinese style clothes, busking, parents absent or off training in the mountains and random monkey like traits. Also says 'na no da' at the end of her lines which is like saying 'You know?' but cuter. 

Zakuro Fujiwara

Famous model who has time to vigilante at night. Famous model who throws away her career to work as a slave in a colourful cafe. Plays the lone wolf character. Get it? Because she's a wolf?

Older than the other girls and seems to be embarrassed to be around them. I feel that. 

Often doesn't have time for this shit and should probably be the leader instead of pink face. 

WHAT DO THEY DO?

Basically pose around and wait for instructions from their older slave masters or their super convenient flying robot. There's supposed to be an environmental focus - which would have been great and would have set it apart from more generic save the world sort of magical girls but the show never seems to grasp the concept focusing instead on romance and life in Tokyo. 

WHO DO THEY FIGHT?

Their foes are a trio of alien refugees named.. *sigh*... Quiche, Tart and Pie. 

There's one for all ages, have kinda the same hair and clothing style and the middle one is the best of them so in that regard they kinda remind me of Hanson. 

Quiche is funny, cheeky and has anger issues. They make him extremely creepy in the show - actually, kinda rapey which is again weird.. stealing a kiss is one thing but literally chasing a thirteen year old girl down the road because they have no concept of consent is kinda awkward to watch.

Pie has no personality. Much like Zakuro, he's too old to be hanging around with these tweenagers.

Tart is there to flirt with Pudding who is even younger than Ichigo. 

People full on ship these characters. Does anyone else want to see Pudding go with child protection?

Because so far her friends are putting her in danger and working her to death when she's already looking after her entire family of babies by busking and not going to school! 

The girls don't really bother to see why the aliens are attacking until much later which sucks because it would have cut the season in half. It's because they lost their home and are angry to see the humans polluting and ruining this planet. How do they go about showing this rage? They conjure up generic beast fusions with humans who have a slight tie to the plot and are usually defeated when the girls throw a light show and cure the said human's emotional 'issue'. 

Sometimes they look cool and sometimes...

......Yeah. 

HOW DO THEY FIGHT?

Despite cats generally being ferocious in attacks - Ichigo's main striking move is stealing the love heart with bell item from Sailor Chibi Moon and spinning around a lot. It does some sort of pink power ray thing. It's a bit unclear. I think she actually has two attacks but I don't think there's any difference between the two apart from a different pose?

If I just hold it up maybe it'll do something!

Mint shoots a tiny blue arrow from her tiny baby size archery set. I think it does something. 

Lettuce has Castanets. Castanets are a musical instrument. I still don't know how she uses them. 

Pudding has a tambourine and a smaller ring that somehow makes pudding encase an enemy. I tried this at home and it did not work, AT ALL. 

Zakuro has probably the only non musical instrument weapon and it's cut out partly in the dub because it looks like a cross but is actually a whip. It actually works as a weapon but you have to do the splits to use it. 

They've all got a generic teleport and generic power transform option that they can use without being aware of it or require any training. They can also all fly and hover. All of them are better than the bird character because show does not know how to bird. 

IS ANY OF IT GOOD?

Not really. The best part about the show is the transformation sequences and attack scenes but you'll get tired of seeing them because that's all they show.

 

 

I find it hilarious that the main character has the worst and laziest transformation sequence. Lettuce has the best - even if it appropriates flamenco style randomly while Mint has the most inspired. The ballet theme tied into her character as well as suiting the transformation perfectly. 

The other good thing is Pudding. 

She is so cute and lively that she brightens up every scene. 

Unfortunately the show treats her like a bit of a joke and don't delve into any of her more meaningful traits. 

Despite learning Pudding is supporting her entire family in the absence of her parents, the team don't really help her out with chores, or money or even emotional support. 

Pudding actually has more of a support network in her greatest nemesis - Tart. 

In saying that, I still can't look past how the show abuses this child. 

That said, I love the music she has in her sequences and the way the show uses her kooky acrobatics to comedic effect

WHY DO YOU HATE IT SO MUCH?

 The art in the actual animation varies dramatically from just okay to what's wrong with your eyes and why are you bending like that SHIT are you okay?! 

This is the main character. When she's not stressing out about boys or over reacting about something stupid, she's being saved by boys. She's supposed to be the hero but she never really does anything heroic. Every now and then she'll harp on about saving the world because like, the environment is like, totally important and like stuff, y'know? But then they cut away to her posing because it's more interesting and will move merchandise. 

I mean, is your extended transformation/attack posing not enough? 

Are you aware that you're entire team is unable to be animated until you finish? 

Then there's the love triangle.

Older Ryou is shoved in here even though he's kissing an underage girl who is an employee of his so, eww.

Secondly.. he transforms into a cat to try and make out with her too. Gross.







Aoyama is fine as a person... I guess.. but he's got no personality. We aren't shown why Ichigo is so taken with him apart from he exists and he has feelings for the environment.

He's also the Blue Knight in case you thought there was a fourth love interest.
Come on, at least Tuxedo Mask had a sense of mystery about him, you're just a goofy elf in blue hot pants!













We've already mentioned Quiche.. who is a pretty interesting villain overall except when it comes to the obvious forced romance business between him and Ichigo.

And also... this is a Mew.

Mostly it's a disappointment because again - it had something different to add to the mix, a message that would bode better for younger kids and a cool animal theme but it tossed it all away in favour of the tried and true brainless fluff about romance and girls in cute outfits.

Shit, the author of the manga wasn't anything to write home about but at least she was initially going for a darker premise. Then she wrote a sequel that had a bunny/cat hybrid because there's surely a point to that?

Nope. Just more fanservice bordering on creepy and the other Mew's sad realisation that with Ichigo gone they can't even step up to be leader because some random half bunny half rabbit will rock up and kick them out. Is it the garter? Because you know you could just take them off or switch sides, right?